So I went to see this film. And when I came out it was still just about light. The old cars, the flares, the motel rooms and polaroid snaps. I was born forty years too late. I forced myself not to analyse stylistics and film structure. Goddamn V. (She glows now. In the least clichéd of ways. Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays for an hour and a half we nurse indefatigable collective images of Baby V. fed frappucino foam from a long silver spoon, Baby multilingual V. being fed Soviet film film feminism film formalism.)

Not many people turned up for this one. I asked Agnés if she knew much about it. She has come from Limoges to England to stuff envelopes for three months.

It’s about lonliness, she said haltingly. How fitting, I thought, there being only fifteen or so people waiting for the hand held bell to be rung, with their makeshift tickets, cups of coffee and season programmes. Quite a few of them by themselves.

The man who usually sits two rows down from me came in five minutes late, and sat two rows down from me. He is always there.

I thought about this. I only think he is there always because the films he sees coincide with the films I see. Perhaps all films I’ve missed, he’s missed too, and it is purely coincidental that he goes on a Tuesday instead of a Friday. He cannot always be there. This train of thought must be forcibly applied to almost every stranger I encounter more than once in the same place. Several minutes of my sleeplessness every night spent dismantling my stubborn egocentricity. Mantra: You. Are not. The sun of your own miniature solar system!

A part of me will never grow up. I am always (still) pleasantly and not mildly enough surprised when the hands come away, at the wide eyes and the peekaboo. -

Anyway. He is always there (I am working on it) and I’ve been trying to place him for such a long time. Tonight I realised he belongs to the film. In black and white. His hair is longer than mine. There is something about that. He went against all monotonous prerecorded orders to remain seated until house lights come up, and disappeared as the credits roll.

Ten pm, and it was still light.

Munich sky, Mami said today, as if it is scientifically and otherwise possible that Munich has a different sky to Stoke.