Today was the first day of real spring weather.
Chrisie and I sat on our sun-warmed doorstep and talked about her boyfriend. He interjects crikey into every other sentence. He also says happy days a lot, wistfully, as if he were on death’s doorstep with a head full of nostalgia. Whenever he says this, I suppress [...]

I was like this - she lies on the sofa with her legs spread - and he was lying like this. Look, come here, pretend for a minute you are him.
Crawl across the carpet on all fours watching your own blurred reflection in the glass. Where does your outline end and this drunken night [...]

I would do pretty much anything for you, and I have done. Here is a very small list, selected at random from an enormous backlog.

walked from me to you and back again enough to make 500 miles
scraped back sweaty tendrils of hair and changed underwear
told pretty white lies
half-drowned you at the pool recounting how you [...]

We create an open-air anthropomorphic drama, where we direct and interpret and say this way that way and play audience all at once, where our causal agents walk bow-legged with six spread toes, frequently defying gravity with a sound that drops the centre of my stomach somewhere half-way between my disobedient knees and purple painted [...]

On his four day weekend visit, we sit in a dark park in semi-sleet and imagine my future Hispanic lover, whom I will meet in Austria, him a travel writer, me a nomadic backpacker.
When he says beautiful, I say like a tree.
A high class prostitute. The perversion of beautiful by two skinny funny guys [...]

Part of Virginia Woolf fluttered into my luke-warm bath water. She is lying on my carpet looking wrinkly and disgruntled.
Hearing your tired pizza voice is becoming increasingly difficult. Three insurmountable hash keys, two indefatigable stars and a whole bunch of scribbly numbers.
Charlotte Gainsbourg has amazing everything.
Shhh.

My father is discovering his tribal roots. He has been sent a letter from Germany by his ancestors. He says this as if they wrote from beyond the grave, as if this is a spiritual calling.
My tribe, he tells us in the car, have invited me to a large gathering of relatives. The vast number [...]

On the way to the gym I ran into a small woman in a long, dark coat opposite the graveyard. She was waving her cigarette expressively skyward, and shouting very loudly and very unintelligibly at the murky excuses for spring buds adorning the fuel-choked trees. Next to her head, scribbly crayon bubble writing proclaimed loudly [...]

The Girl With The Priestly Admirer pulls a torch from the glove compartment (inaccurately named) and directs its battery-dying yellow glow at her legs. She counts hairs unsuccessfully severed sweating earlier in the bathtub over her Venus razor. In the backseat I paint myself vampish lips and shiver.
After avoiding for several hours our imperfect [...]

He moved in with his ex and her father quite a while ago. Lost count of the number of days he’s been living on the worn couch in her living room. Sitting and eating and sleeping. It feels more like a prison sentence now than it did when he first arrived. This is no longer [...]